Overworked girl bloggers

There are so many cool chicks out there blogging and moving their shows forward. Here are a few good reads:

Dr. Val - is a trusted source
Loulie's - is full of style
The Bloggess - is irreverent
Maria Niles - is a Twitter bud
Miss Mota Mouth - is "racy"
Michele Woodward - is supportive

Wondering what these six do when they notice that they are supremely tired, but still a bit unsatisfied ... Maybe they'll tell us.

We love Lu-Lu from West Virginia

My daughter likes me to make up stories for her. At bedtime, she often requests I tell her a story about this little girl from West Virginia who grew up without money and without a mom ...

The stories I weave have titles like, "How Lu-Lu learned to decorate her fingernails with charcoal pulled from the mine," and "Why dress shopping once a year with someone who loves you is special," and "How Lu-Lu won the baking contest when all of the other girls were richer and prettier than she was," seem to capture my daughter's pre-teen imagination 100%. She is fascinated by Lu-Lu.

I am attached to this character too and I've decided that she should not grow up.

The Campaign for Letting Go

Lots of us dream of using technology to improve and heal regular lives ... The Campaign for Love and Forgiveness is doing it: Check out Letting Go

I hope you'll spend a couple of minutes and let something go!

P.S. to the Mother's Day Dare

I forgot to add this to my Mother's Day Dare:

That we all find somebody else to do the grocery shopping for the rest of the year!

{{{{HUGS}}}} Mom

Mother's Day Dare

On this Mother's Day, I dare you to:

Cry when it seems safer to hold back
Run when you have time to walk
Share in the beauty of others
Without envy or fear ...

Contact the healing power of nature
Find time for tolerance and understanding
Notice what really hurts inside
Give it a name and set it free

Step out of your comfort zone
Read something that is a challenge
Or say something that makes you quake
Especially if it is loving

Forgive yourself for things you cannot do
Forgive others for what they do to you
Respect the spaces separating us all
For these may become our future gardens ...

Stand in awe of the majestic planet
Feel so small that your insignificance
Becomes a reward, a relief
A moment's respite from feeling "In charge"

Trust your instincts and sharpen them daily
What is easy isn't always wrong
But what causes suffering often holds a gift as well
Try to know the difference

On this Mother's Day, I dare you to

Find a photo of yourself as a child
Put it next to a photo of your children and
Witness just how much you've changed
... Mothers grow up too

Honor what you've been through
- The many things you've overcome
Make a pact to celebrate your story
For its uniqueness and simplicity

You are a wonder in this world!
A very special blossom
Too beautiful for a vase on Sunday
You have bloomed where you were planted ...

Warm wishes to all daring women on this Mother's Day :)

- May 2008 Christine Kraft / Coco Kraft and the Village Elders

PopeMobile

Brooks shot this picture of the PopeMobile passing the White House. You can see the Pope.

But when the PopeMobile passed me at DuPont Circle this afternoon there were sirens and an entourage, but no Pope. The PopeMobile was empty! Gasp!

The beautiful moment came when I saw my own reflection bouncing back from the bullet proof glass window. That image made me smile.

Help me, my attention span is...Did you hear how...What?

Ever wonder how much energy fish used to grow legs? Answer: A lot.

Why do you already know this? Because while you're not growing legs, you are growing something ... and dare I surmise that "growing" anything takes a whole lot of energy.

But since you probably hate this metaphor, I'll make my 2nd point quickly: Those fish were probably STRESSED OUT trying to get out of the pond and onto land. Could be that they were, indeed, even chased out. Even worse, they probably had no idea that they were growing legs.

Are you growing something evolutionarily useful these days, something like, "tolerance" or "endurance" ???

What about "focus?" Is that trait still useful? Or have our attention spans been sliced and diced into something less useful than a late-night pitch product on the cable channels. I know I type-pad so much that my handwriting has atrophied...but my typing has really improved.

Oops, gotta go, a device beckons. Lemme see who. Oh, that was my husband's device. Shit, I just spilled my coffee. Ugh, oh well no biggie, I'm back now. Fresh cup. Okay, so. Oh? Um. It was like - oh,

Where was I?

Sometimes it just takes time

Playful died yesterday. Move on, some will urge, "He's just a hamster."

I never intended to love that little rodent. But it wasn't ultimately my choice. He was irresistible for some reason. The bond he and my daughter made together was what made me love him too. She took good care of him. She cleaned his cage and fed and stroked him. She connected with that little guy and I will miss him so.

Things take time.

Just yesterday I had a phone call returned from a land trust that may be able to help us donate an easement on land we own. To think, it has been more than six years worth of baby steps to arrive to that call. We'll see where it goes from here.

Fish hospice and other pet tales that hurt

In late October we noticed that the spine on our Siamese fighting fish, "Blue-jet," had curved and he could no longer swim up to get his food.

We lowered the water level so that now, with precision pellet placement, Blue-jet manages to clumsily find his food. We also positioned his bowl under an incandescent lamp so that the water would be gently heated 24/7.

This set-up, along with daily cheering for him to "swim" up and grab his pellets, became known as "Fish Hospice."

Blue-jet is two and a half years old now and seems to be doing pretty well.

So, when little one called me at work today with a pain in her voice, "Mom, I think Playful is dead. He is not moving and I don't feel his heartbeat," I was so very sad. In addition to fish hospice, we had said goodbye to our dog of twelve years recently, and had also said goodbye to loved ones, childhood homes, and cities we loved.

"Now, Playful?" I thought. Our sweet 2 1/2 year old hamster from Santa was on deck to go.

When I arrived home, we hurried upstairs. There was Playful, convincingly dead. Both of his eyes were glued shut. He had no quick rise and fall of breath. He was cold to the touch. And showed no sign of reflex. He was completely unresponsive.

I picked him up and noticed a small tremor. I prodded him to check whether I was "seeing" right. Sure enough after a minute or two, just as we were lowering him into his shoe box casket, we determined that perhaps he was still alive.

We took his water bottle out of the cage, filled it with warm water and put it to his lips. After several drops of water to the tongue, he began to show some consciousness. We repeated this step over the course of a couple of hours, with little one on the wood floor under blankets with him, raising his body temp and talking to him.

We then put a salt lick against his teeth and rubbed it back and forth so that something of the mineral might be ingested.

What else?

I checked him over: Cleared his eye discharge with saline, then removed the packed clogs from his bottom. Not fun, but all the while I was aware that I was modeling (on some abstract level) how my daughter might someday react in the face of uncertainty.

I don't know what little one is and isn't learning about life from this experience of loss, but I believe that love is the foundation of the framework. And love is a verb, especially when you are parenting.

Funny thing is, that deep down I believe Playful is dying. In fact, he may already be dead upstairs as I write this out. We have not bottle fed him since 8 PM. Nor has he moved from his cozy spot since we placed him there. We'll see what today brings, and we are prepared to accept it now that we've added our own little comma.

But whatever happens, I'm using the comma to spin the narrative thread colored, "When Playful was dying." I'll take that thread and weave it right into our tapestry of life at home, our life in the world. These murky hues are some of nature's most dramatic colors, after all. And when used sparingly, offsetting a more vital palette of life, aren't things rendered more vivid, perhaps even crystal clear, for a passing moment or two?

Nature, with children

Spring lambing today, out at Lee's farm.

Hard to describe the joy of senses awakened to brisk air, surrounded by new life.

Some bleeting softly. Others preparing to bleed, to birth.

Thinking that a farm is the perfect anecdote to cynicism.

That the circle of life is pretty clear from the stable floor.

Lucky.

15 amazing women in blogging

Check these ladies out:

15 amazing women in blogging

How to make a Christmas wish list

A long time ago, I learned that I could make the annual Christmas wish list tradition a lot of fun if I got the focus off of gifts and onto values...

First, I picked a date for hot cocoa and wish lists. I set the counter up as I might for a craft project by putting out pencils, erasers, colored markers, catalogs, whole punches, etc.

Second, I showed each of the kids how to start a letter to Santa.

Third, I let the kids draft out their long lists of wishes. They could put anything (and as many things as) they wanted on their lists - no editing or shoulds allowed from mom.

The lists were very long and included big deals such as Guinea Pigs, slide projectors, new bicycles and skateboards, as well as little deals such as lip gloss and candy.

Finally, and this is the magical part, I asked them to take their long lists and to choose something for their head, (books or knowledge-based learning), something for their heart (an animal to love, athletic equipment), something for their hands (yarn for knitting, blocks, or projects to build and cook), and something for our home (a family game, a supply of fancy paper, new pastels).

As the children made trade-offs, I talked to them about balance and about happiness being a sign of a person using many of his or her gifts throughout a lifetime. They seemed to understand the connection, but expect a lot of discussion, negotiation, even some disappointments...

Finally, they wrote up their edited lists on a fresh piece of paper to Santa and decorated it. If there was anything either of them felt really strongly about including (in addition to the 4-Hs), we would just keep talking about it. I even asked them to add one wish for someone else . . . to integrate the idea of charitable giving.

This approach to how to make a Christmas wish list takes time and some thought. But it can help ease the blind consumerism the tradition can bring ... while transforming it into a mini plan.

I like that the kids are learning simple consciousness about their wishes, something I still practice myself. And while they won't get everything on their lists, they deal with the disappointments before Christmas morning. That makes "a little room" for the spirit of Christmas to come in.

A Thanksgiving Ditty and Blessing

May the meal be simple
The affections deep
The clean-up easy
The leftovers keep.

Should the family without
Need a little of yours
May you find the will
To give something, of course.

May our earth spin lovely
Extended in space
May the story of harvest
Bring a welcomed grace

To those far away
from our table this day
may their lives be felt
through the words we say.

Thank you! we are grateful
We are grateful for life.
Thank you! we are grateful
For this day of less strife.

Soldiers and preachers,
Politicians and press
Gather at the table
Take this rest.

Child and mother
Farmer and cook
The day of Thanksgiving
Is here - go. Look.

Let go of drudgery
Let the meal be a feast
On tastes and smells
For the smallest, the least

Serve love, forgiveness
Good pie, good wine.
Gentle perseverance
In these uncertain times.

And tomorrow when memories
are all you can hold
Loosen your grip
And let life unfold...

There is much to learn
And so much to do
Believe in life's goodness
As it comes to you.

----------------

posted by Coco Kraft Thanksgiving morning 2007

World peace: Co-inspiration

I found this quote from Humberto Maturana and had to share it. It is very dense and difficult to get. Please try a couple of times before giving up... Then I challenge you to write the same idea in a Haiku or less.

"When one puts objectivity in parenthesis, all views, all verses in the multiverse are equally valid. Understanding this, you lose the passion for changing the other. One of the results is that you look apathetic to people. Now, those who do not live with objectivity in parentheses have a passion for changing the other.

So they have this passion and you do not.

For example, at the university where I work, people may say, ‘Humberto is not really interested in anything,’ because I don’t have the passion in the same sense that the person (who has) objectivity without parentheses. And I think that this is the main difficulty.

To other people you may seem too tolerant. However, if the others also put objectivity in parentheses , you discover that disagreements can only be solved by entering a domain of co-inspiration, in which things are done together because the participants want to do them. With objectivity in parentheses, it is easy to do things together because one is not denying the other in the process of doing them."

Humberto Maturana - Interview 1985.

Polar bears and puffins: Back home with the kids

Since I hadn't worked for seven years it is unclear what exactly my first contract has taught me other than that I can do it: Arrange the childcare, hold it together, arrive on time, enjoy myself, get paid well, make a contribution to the work of a large office.

Perhaps I should have lounged around today - gone shopping, sat on the couch with Oprah, read, enjoyed how much prettier my home is than my cube at work.

But this week our annual book fair starts. Since I volunteered to run it (again) with my favorite team of ladies (last year) I will not be sitting (at all) until more than $15K worth of $2.99 children's books are sold by Friday evening.

How's that for a healthy transition and giving yourself room to stay in the present? More like what happens when two fronts meet...

On the bright side, it is amazing how we moms can (and do) express aspects of our identities by sequencing in and out of various roles.

Last week I was polishing data, this week I am hauling an enormous polar bear skin and skull in my trunk. They are props for the World Wildlife Fund's polar bears and puffins presentation at Book Fair (Blizzard!) kick-off.

Last week I wondered where to have lunch with colleagues, this week I am wondering what to pack for lunch.

Last week I worried about my colleagues in transition, this week I am worrying that my kids are going too fast on the cool new pedal car our Dutch neighbors loaned them.

It is unexpected that as I write this post, I feel my tone shift from viewing my at-home mom work as part folly, to viewing it, more rightly, as just as good a place as any to practice my talents and interests.

No, I am never paid. I will never like that. But when I arrived at school yesterday and friends that I had only seen in passing since last year stopped to catch up and give me hugs, I felt so lucky to be a part of both worlds. Even my kids came running toward me with arms outstretched when I surprised them by being there at pick up.

I think it is just fine that I am back here for a while.