8/26/08

Random musings on social media

Social media blurs the conventions many of us grew up with. Who are all these folks we connect with daily? Are they friends? Or just followers? Are they teaching us? Helping us get jobs? Inspiring good works? Or just scaling our lives upwards? After months on Twitter, I'm wondering:

When someone in my blood family is hurting, will blogging or Twittering or e-mailing my pain convey my concern adequately? Will it actually generate compassion for me and the ailing relative?

Me thinks no . . .

So, should my response to a family member's pain be conveyed differently from my response to a blogger in Idaho's pain?

Me thinks yes.

But, what if the only medium I know how to use is the 140 character text string? Is that adequate? Will the format truly allow me to convey the broadness of empathy? Or the fragility of uncertainty?

Or does the compression of the message demand that I convey certainty and authority regardless of the context?

Will snarky comments and Tiny URLS take over the crafting of an elegant personal note or the grace of bearing an awkward silence for a friend enduring a terrible loss, a sick child, or a frightening diagnosis?

Who knows what the future of personal expression will look like. My hope is that it will be adequate to express the complete poetry of our souls.

8/12/08

Old friends rock

I so love my old friends. I just wish we could live a bit closer in proximity.

I am old fashioned, so I always believed we would pop into each others' houses/apartments for a cup of coffee, and have an easier time checking out our kids' Halloween costumes, piano recitals, and other big developmental leaps ...

That's someone else's movie as it turns out.

But my movie isn't so bad. I am always comforted to rediscover every year how with just one visit and 2-3 phone calls a year, my oldest friends help me become my best self. They ask me to let go of the stuff that's outdated - the energy drains that just don't serve me anymore (even when I haven't noticed that yet). They also notice what I have (and have not) made of myself. They are patient and encourage me to stay on my path.

In the years when I feel like my life is a bit stalled or that I am losing something I held dear, upon reconnecting with a treasured friend, I sense that I've been touched - no, nourished. My soul is a bit more complete.

8/2/08

Weather delays mom, not her son

While I got turned around with a cancelled flight, my son brushed up his skimboard skills. Wonder if he'll get the 360 this summer . . . Last year two kids (10 and 14) from SF shared their tips and tricks with him . . . Bet he's hoping they show up soon!

8/1/08

Friend me, follow me, humble me

Can a friendship originate with a click of the mouse? A decision to "Follow?" Yesterday, I received a Tweet from someone I follow on Twitter exclaiming:

Just cracked 4,000 followers! On my way to the Top 100 Twitter list...

My reaction: Unfollow . . . Immediately.
But a few days earlier, someone I follow Tweeted:

Golf is done. A little rough but had fun. Heading back home to fire up the gumbo chill the stella

My reaction: Follow with interest

7/31/08

Getting things done (GTD)

I found this post on Arif & Ali's blog while exploring Guy Kawasaki's, Getting things done index on Alltop. Even though I don't think these guys are talking about issues we deal with as parents, or as mothers, specifically, check it out for some practical solutions that could be very useful for Back-to-school season:

Why Some People Always are so Efficient, Yet Relaxed at the Same time . It’s because of Rules. We had them as School kids, there are Rules at office, then then there are traffic Rules. Rules Rules Rules everywhere. Who needs ‘em, Wouldn’t it be better if we just got rid of them? No, you know that it wouldn’t be. And that’s because, it’s these Rules that are in place to provide us with the freedom to do what we can, within limits . . . Read post

7/24/08

Small town toy store

I stopped in Portsmouth, New Hampshire last weekend, on our way up north to Damariscotta, Maine to collect our daughter from camp. Not only is there a great set of coffee shops and galleries in downtown Portsmouth, there are no fewer than 3 FABULOUS toy stores within walking distance. That's a sign of a healthy town . . .

What's more is that we could stroll and browse in and out of these great toy stores with our son, while catching pretty glimpses of the seacoast, historic architecture, and a working tug boat yard.

Let's just say that I fell back in love with the notion of the small, livable village on the seaside.

Romantic? Yes, most definitely. But smaller scale, walkable villages are also modern, sustainable, and perhaps even better for your health.

P.S. Tugboats are cool

7/22/08

Edit yourself: Use this cheap writing coach

Need a clue about how you sound? Wanna know what kind of impression you make on the meta level? Try Wordle. When you put your URL into its processor, it spits back a visual of the topics you cover . . . Handy, no? Tells me I need to cut down on "cancer" and "news." Thanks to Craig Stolz for tipping me off to Wordle.

7/14/08

Fat Summer - another look

Obesity was in the news a lot last summer. This post takes a fresh look at obesity ... it is one of my personal favorites:

Fat Summer

7/11/08

One of the world's best elders turns 90 soon

Nelson Mandela is one of the most inspiring individuals my generation has had the privilege of encountering. Although he retired from public life nearly a decade ago, and experiences some trouble getting around now, his message to a London crowd gathered to celebrate his upcoming 90th birthday is as fresh and relevant as ever:

"Where human beings are being oppressed, there is more work to be done. Our work is for freedom for all."

"It is time for new hands to lift the burdens. It is in your hands now. I thank you," added Mandela.

If you are a fan of leadership study, you won't want to miss Rick Stengel's piece in the July 21, 2008 issue of Time Magazine. He has written a wonderful short profile, Mandela: His 8 Lessons of Leadership in honor of Mandela's birthday.

While many of the "leadership lessons" will sound familiar, such as, Keep your friends close - and your enemies even closer, each one is, like Mandela himself, a timeless reminder to continue "the struggle."

7/9/08

Communicating with doctors: Practice when you're healthy!

This morning's news feeds brought my attention to 2 important stories:

Men not told of severity of wife's cancer

Breast-conserving surgery leaves many cancer patients disappointed

Both of these stories reflect the same core issue: that we (men and women) are not empowered to seek ample information from care providers. So, what to do?

First, practice how to communicate with your care provider when it isn't urgent. That way, when you are in an urgent situation, you are prepared to seek the information you need.

After that, keep practicing until you have established trustworthy communication with a doctor or nurse. Why is that so hard for so many of us?

If you are a woman with breast cancer, or you love someone with breast cancer, do your best to educate yourself about breast-conserving surgery vs. mastectomy (with or without reconstruction). Find pictures of options online. It is important to get help understanding surgical outcomes, asymmetry, scar tissue, etc., and finding your own comfort within the necessary trade-offs. (Easier said than done when staring down a cancer diagnosis, I realize . . .)

Likewise, before a husband can readily "hear" a loved one's terminal cancer diagnosis, he has to practice "hearing" about menopause and other basic women's issues.

Guys, consider it good practice to contemplate your wife's vulnerability while she is healthy. Remember: practice, not perfection, is the name of the game.

And, just in case anyone needs this helpful piece from Y-me?, here are 10 ways of being there for your wife when she cancer. . .

7/2/08

ROLL with it - I promise, you can!

Tonight's post is just a short little ditty on the power of perseverance and will:

... Not the old-fashioned pushing that looks like repression and forcing, but the new kind of gentle touch that truly seems to express, "Hey, let's play, let the chips fall as they may; I am doing the best I can and I will thrive through this challenge."

Sound like B.S. to you?

I'm too young to convince you that it isn't total B.S. But what I can do is let you know that I try to practice this approach daily, especially through the REALLY TOUGH STUFF - like when you feel like you are literally growing brain cells to cope with the complexity of the things you never expected would land on your plate.

Try it. Roll with it like those boys in the picture above. Give yourself the words, "Even though __________ is happening, I continue to work toward ____________ with a joyful heart. You'll contact the self-awareness and power that are available to all ...

7/1/08

Sailboat celebration

Rare SS class sailboat celebration this weekend:

The 1924 SS class sailboat plies the waters in the East Passage.

The SS class sloop from the east end of Long Island, New York will be commemorated this weekend in honor of its 100th anniversary. Designed in 1908 and built over the course of many years, the SS class is the oldest continually active racing class in North America.

The photo and description below comes from the Jamestown Press.

There are eight different kinds of wood in the boat including a white oak duck's head tiller that was hand carved by Ansel Tuthill in 1938, when he was 20 years old. The frames or ribs are made of hackmatac - a deciduous conifer similar to larch. In order to have the grain run straight through a curve, stumps were dug up and laboriously hand sawn into slices. The pattern was then traced onto a spot where the root was turning, and carved to shape.
SS59 is planked with Atlantic white cedar, and decked with western red cedar- the centerboard trunk, centerboard, and rudder are cypress, while the spars are all made of old growth Douglas fir.

6/29/08

Postcard from Maine

My friend from Loulies.com sent me a postcard:

Hey Coco,
Just returned from wall-e with Emmett and Chris. Very good. Spent yesterday getting Gus up to Maine. A mini-vacation. Left at 7 am. Drove through Brunswick for a Lobster Roll from the Brunswick Diner. Arrived in Belgrade Lakes. Made Gus' bed. Toured the island for posterity sake and to refresh my own soul of where I was leaving my boy for the whole summer. Got caught in a thunderstorm. Drove down to Georgetown
Maine to sit at the end of the wharf looking out at the five islands that surround our favorite lobster pound. Enjoyed steamers, corn on the cob and a two-and-a-half pounder. Headed for Portland, then Scarborough Beach to get my feet wet. Took the 9:45 flight home. All in a day. An emotional one (but not really). He will be so happy not to be nagged and told to brush his teeth and eat with his mouth closed. I will miss him but he is so LUCKY.

XO - B

6/27/08

Camp for girls

Yesterday we received photos of our daughter at camp. In one picture she held a bow and arrow extended gracefully and with good beginner's form. I thought to myself, "Lucky! She is so lucky to have this opportunity!"

But then I wondered what SHE was thinking.

In another picture I saw a smile on her sweet face ... but she wasn't completely relaxed; there was a restricted line across the brow. I felt like she was putting the "I am doing camp" look out.

That made me wonder whether she would ever say "Lucky!" if asked how she felt about sleeping away from home for 3 weeks ...

Isn't that the trick about parenting: so called "good experiences" and things that feel good to your child are not always in sync.

The house is quiet. My son is talking so much more with his sister gone, but still it's quiet. I wonder what they are having for breakfast this morning ...

6/25/08

It was beautiful ... now to say farewell

Today I have good reason to type out what's on my mind: two wonderful friends are moving forward into new adventures.

I thought I'd say farewell to them in pictures, with images I shot last weekend on Long Island:

_________________________________________

Farewell

It was a rare beauty we explored together ...