Chaos still a part of mothering

Having been separated from my professional identity so abruptly last week, I returned to the paradox of home a bit unprepared.

This topic is difficult to write about, and even more difficult to relate to unless you've walked a similar path yourself. So, I am editing myself heavily on this page today ... probably will for a while.

But, one of my favorite expressions from work was "At a high level." It was invoked to skirt around tough stuff, political drama, disagreement, or hierarchy challenges. It was elegant, cool and clean to get out of the weeds and keep the conversation/ideas at a high level because that's business. This morning it dawned on me that:

At a high level, being home means living the low level.

It's about being open to hurt feelings, to right and wrong, and justice. Being home with your kids is about tolerating the natural flow of dreams and disappointments and ... housework. It's about keeping the spark and spontaneity and sobriety alive.

There are no guarantees that our kids will live long lives, or contribute wonderful things to the world. But my ability to keep this in mind is what helps me manage as a connected parent. As I just heard the Director of the Sidwell Friends Lower School say, "It's about with-edness."

Today, if you have a thought to share with me about your "withedness" as a mother or as a working woman/mother, I'd love to hear from you. Funny, sweet, sour or sad, post a comment anonymously, or by name.

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